The path to success is rarely a rocket ship straight up. It normally involves ups and downs along the way. The “downs” are what I call “bumps in the road” and how we respond to to those bumps will determine our level of success. There are four basic ways to respond to bumps. The first one is denial. When we ask someone out on a date and get rejected or try out for a team and get cut or go for a job and don’t get it, there is a natural tendency to protect ourselves and say “I didn’t really like her anyways” or “I don’t care about that team” or “That job wasn’t for me.”
Whoa! Slow down. Yes, you did like her, that’s why you asked her out. You did want to make the team, that’s why you did the preseason practices and tried out. You did want the job, that’s why you researched the company and were excited about the interview.
It is actually OK that you went for it and did not get what you want. Does it hurt? Absolutely it does, but the pain will lessen with each passing day. Own the fact that you went for it, reflect on the results and move on. When we pretend that we did not care, we halt the grieving process and increase the chances that we will get stuck. Going for it and not succeeding is what successful people do everyday. Failing at something does not make you a failure, it just means that this particular event or chapter did not work out.
Own your decisions. Embrace the pain. Grieve. Heal. Grow. Move forward.